Why does the Universe function this way?

As you can tell, I have a lot to write down from my weekend away.

So, many of you read the entry entitled “Mission Accomplished” where I describe my efforts and achievements on getting my favorite bartender’s phone number. Well, here is the stance as of now.

Last Thursday afternoon I called her (I tried following those rules about when to call). When I called I received her voice message and I left a jolly little message; I mentioned in it that I was going to be out of town but don’t be discouraged to call me back. I concluded with trying to go do something the following Tuesday or Wednesday (so we’re talking about the present). I left my phone number in the message just so there was no confusion on what my number is (usually it would show up on the screen of the cell phone, but I wanted to cover all my tracks).

The rest of Thursday went by and no phone call. Friday morning and beyond I was in Virginia as you read. I was acting pretty pathetic during the trip when it came to my phone. If I was away from it I would see if I had any missed calls, or when the phone was turned off during the flights, I just kept hoping that I had a message waiting for me. No such luck.

On Saturday when we were all in DC, I was sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial looking at the Washington Monument in front of me. While doing this I felt my phone vibrate and I got all 2nd grade giddy but then I looked at who it was calling; my old infatuation from the end of last year who I will call Coffee Shop Girl. I wasn’t ready to answer the phone.

Some of you may remember my entanglement with Coffee Shop Girl back in the fall and winter. She was in a similar situation like the bartender; I visited that coffee shop everyday and began a customer friendship with this particular barista. Now, I thought there might had been flirtation but if flirting was a certain music pitch, I would be tone deaf. Well, eventually, one Thursday morning I asked if she wanted to do something on the following Friday and she agreed. A lot of walking on cloud nine took place until Friday morning when she said to me:

“Now, Peter, I want to make sure on that what we do tonight we do it as friends because I have an amazing boyfriend,” this took me by surprise. Out of all the random conversations we had in the past couple of months, she never mentioned the B-word. I knew about her deceased father, her nieces and nephews, her obsession with cooking, her practicing Judaism, and many other things but not once did that come up (and believe me, I would have noticed that). I responded with something about looking for new people to socialize with (which isn’t entirely false). She liked my answer and wrote her cell number down. I left like Charlie Brown when he’s depressed (you know that specific tune that always played in the cartoons).

The week following the boyfriend discovery, I met up with her at a concert (a small one at the Attic, a venue in Santa Cruz). We went for a walk while a crappy band was playing and we got to talking. I basically explained to her that I was harmless and she shouldn’t have anything to worry about when hanging out with me (I didn’t want to give her the impression that I was going to try to steal her from her boyfriend, because I used to be notorious for doing that (for those who cannot read that, that was sarcasm)). She then went into some detail about how happy she and her boyfriend are right now, but about four weeks prior to this they had some problems and were on the verge of breaking up (obviously they patched things together). She then said that if I had asked her out at that time, she would have totally considered this a date. Although I still was the loser in this situation, that made my night; knowing that I wasn’t crazy. Yes, this girl did like me.

The following months led to a weird trail. We went and did many things together; saw art exhibits, did dinner runs, window shopped, went for drives along the beach, all seeming like dates one may think. During all this, I would randomly ask her where was her boyfriend and she would usually reply with the fact that he didn’t like doing these things. What was frustrating, as time went on, she would go on about how happy she is in her relationship and sometimes would mention how great their sex is since they repatched things. I wasn’t sure how to feel about this since I felt that I was doing the basic date things that a boyfriend is supposed to do and that basically got her warmed up and ready to go when she got back to her boyfriend that evening.

During our time together there were three things that sort of ended my interaction with her (I’m excluding the boyfriend for this list). One was a really odd conversation we had one night getting dinner. I will sum it up; it was about homosexuality and she asked me if I had ever made love to a man. I responded with a “that’s a negative.” She then told me that I should because “being in the embrace of a man, you will find out things you never knew you wanted.” What an odd duck, is all I could think.

The next was a dinner party she invited me to. This is where I met many of her friends (keep in mind her boyfriend did not attend this). What made this dinner weird for me was that every single conversation that took place, I could not participate in. They went on from things like studying abroad in West Africa and the heart of South America to strange witch doctor stories to growing their own coffee at some point in their lives to general graduate school drama to mushroom hunting. I didn’t even know that mushroom hunting was an activity people even did. I had to leave the party; the whole time while they were talking, all I could do was drop little smart ass comments to get a laugh in but all that did was made me look like a bitter asshole (that’s when I felt like I was being my dad at family gatherings).

The final moment was a phone call that took place in January when she called me up to see if wanted to see Joanna Newsom at the Rio Theater (another venue in Santa Cruz). I asked what her boyfriend was doing and she said he was at home; he doesn’t like that type of music. At that point I finally snapped at her and told her that she needs to really figure out what her relationship is based on, if he does absolutely nothing for her. I was getting tired of (what I felt like) filling in where the boyfriend wasn’t. She understood and we hung up. I haven’t talked to her since.

About a month or two ago I was talking to a person at the 515 (one of the bars I visit) and she mentioned she worked at a nearby used book and record store and this was the same one that Coffee Shop Girl’s boyfriend worked at. I asked if she knew him and she said that he quit and went on some Peace Corps type of thing; I mentioned that I knew his girlfriend. She then indicated that he dumped her when he moved away. I told my friends this and they kept telling me that I should call her but all I could think of was that weird conversation and that awkward dinner party (and snapping at her).

Back to the present; she left me a message as I was in the capital of the nation. She called to say hello and that we haven’t talked in a long time and wanted to know what I was up to. I became frustrated with the present situation because here I am, waiting for a phone call from someone I had been obsessing about the last few months and then a woman from the past that I thought I had burned bridges with calls me instead.

The weekend concluded and I still haven’t heard back from the bartender. I am in a confused state because I know there are more absurd rules about calling her. She didn’t call me so, I guess, I am not suppose to call her back because that makes me look desperate or weak or some other adjective that challenges my being. But now I have this other message to respond back to but I am not sure if I want to call the Coffee Shop Girl back.

Here I am in a laundromat; washing my clothes (I need my black socks for work) writing all of this down. I haven’t called the Coffee Shop Girl because I am still waiting things out. At the same time, I’m still trying to figure out what my actions are to be for calling the bartender back. Why hasn’t she called me? With mentioning that I was going to be out of town, maybe she interpreted that as wait until I come back. But then would she call me now or am I suppose to call her now? This evening I am driving up to the bay area to have dinner with my friend Yumiko, so no phone calls will take place. However, I will be making phone calls in the very near future; I just don’t know which ones yet.