Trunk of Darkness

Howdy folks! I apologize for the absence from the world of Proud Gemini. I could give you the usual list of reasons, which other writers tend to give, on why I haven’t written in a few days: work has been busy, such great weather outside, writer’s block, etc.

The real reason is that I had been kidnapped and was in the trunk of a car for the past four days. It was dark, very dark. I forgot what I looked like actually. My kidnappers were kind enough to supply me with something to consume to keep my metabolism going. While in the trunk, they fed a small hose that went through the back seat. Out of the hose was red flavored Kool-Aid. It was a bittersweet sensation; I got absolutely disgusted with the liquid but yet I kept coming back for more since it reminded me of being eight years old again. However, now I suffer from permanently stained pink teeth and diabetes.

My kidnappers let me go yesterday due to some misunderstanding. There was a case of mistaken identity. Last weekend, a blogger named Egotistical Taurus wrote a rant about how Muppet lovers are gay (his words). Well, the fansite for Muppet Lovers were very upset about Egotistical Taurus’s comments and decided to pursue action. Obviously they showed their ignorance on astrological signs and adjectives and went the next one up and found Proud Gemini.

Finally, yesterday morning, one of the kidnappers had come across my site after googling Semiotics and Sonic Youth’s “Teenage Riot.” Connections were made and my true identity became a revelation to them. They let me go, bought me dinner and paid for a haircut.

As for Egotistical Taurus, well, all I know is that his site is now this.