Real Talk

I'm sure everyone does it, but I tend to do this thing where I will be spacing off, thinking about something complex (well, at least I'd like to think it would be complex) and then I suddenly get pulled back into my current surroundings and just happen to tune in to some random conversation nearby. Like clockwork, the part of the conversation is always some unique line or phrase that makes my right eyebrow go up. What the hell were they just talking about?

Over the years, I've managed to remember infamous quotes from random strangers, acquaintances, and friends. I'm sure I'll revisit this posting and add more down the road. Below are ones that have stood out for me over the course of the past few years.

"Man, remember when we used to kill people?"
-Angry bald Latino man asking his fellow companion this question as my friend John and I are walking down Pacific Ave at 11:00pm.

"Rectum? Damn near killed him!"
-My good college friend Brandon and the punchline to a joke he could not remember.

"I am not satisfied. Peter?"
-My friend/housemate Eric finishes a meal and is still desiring something more, he says this and then points to his genitalia.

"Dude, President Bush is totally emo!"
-One college student explains to his fellow friend on a bus ride home.

"Wait, you're Republican and your daughter is a lesbian? Wow, you must really hate life."
-My student caller Katie and a parent prospect on the other end of the phone.

"Goddamn lunch mutants!"
-One of the many flavorful street citizens of Pacific Avenue.

"I'm sure humanity will go extinct relatively soon, but as long as I'm around for 2061, that's all I care about."
-Another student caller, Ashley, states, to which I ask why.
"Because England will have been around for 1000 years."
-oh, of course.

"Alright, so you have the Catholics, and there's the path that the Protestants took. But where do the Mormons fall?"
-A student in my US history class asks this to the teacher about a flow chart he created.
"Straight to Hell."
-My US history teacher replies with a stone cold face.

"Well, I was never good at history."
-The response my pseudo-stepmom Tammy gave to my dad when he asked her who won the American Civil War.

"Dad says you spoil us."
-My pseudo stepsister Christine says this to my pseudo stepmom Tammy after a visit from her dad's (Tammy's ex-husband) house.

"I don't spoil you. Well, the only way I spoil you is by giving you the love that you deserve. If that means you want to see a movie, I'll take you to that movie; if you want that dress at the mall, I'll get you that dress."

-Tammy comes back with the true definition of being spoiled.

"I really recommend making love while David Byrne is being played."
-My old coworker Rena giving me words of advice I have yet to use.