Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Senior Citizen Relations

Recently I was talking to a coworker about what was in our Netflix queues. The topic of liberal-oriented documentaries came up and we exchanged the titles of various flicks we saw. When discussing these liberal films, it got me flashing back to a dark era of my life. Well, not quite dark, but a more challenging time of my life.

It was the fall of 2004; many of you have already heard about my times shortly after college graduation. My boss at the video store was a tool, I wasn’t making enough money, and my social life was slowly coming to a narrow path due to various college friends abandoning Santa Cruz. On top of all this, politics was the main topic of discussion for my peers.

November was around the corner and everyone was nervous based on the possible outcome from elections. Would America and the rest of the world be at the hand of Bush? Or would there be an alternative future with Kerry in office? People were at their worst.

During this period, my housemate Christy was visiting her family in Montana and was gone for a week. With Christy gone, the apartment was a bit bare (since it was just her and me in the pad). While her absence was happening, I decided to distract myself by renting various flicks from the video store. Due to the climate of politics, I went with the random liberal films we had to offer.

Sunday night: The Reagans
This was a miniseries originally made for CBS but due to its anti-Reagan stance, they turned their back on the miniseries and then it went to Showtime. The film followed Ronald and Nancy Reagan as they left their Hollywood lifestyle, governed California, and controlled America for eight years. The film showed more of the flaws of the Reagan administration, proof that Nancy was really running the show, and how Ronald was senile.

Monday night: Hunting of the President
A documentary focusing on Bill Clinton and what the GOP was doing to bring him down while he was president. It chronicles the beginning of his first term and the origins of what the Republican Party had in store to tear down Clinton. It covers White Water, all the random women who claimed Clinton did something with them, and Lewinsky and Ken Starr. It becomes frustrating especially when it reveals how much of tax payers’ dollars were wasted on private investigations proposed by specific Republicans, and how the media was so focused on scrutinizing Clinton and forget about what else was going on in the country.

Tuesday night: Outfoxed
An hour and a half documentary on how fucked up Fox News is. Enough said.

Wednesday night: Unconstitutional- The War on Our Civil Liberties
Another hour and a half on what the Patriot Act does to the common folk.

Thursday night: Control Room
A unique film about the news network Al-Jarzeera and their coverage on the invasion of Iraq. By now, the film is a little dated since this covers the very beginning of the invasion. Al-Jazeera was recording and airing parts of the war that American media wasn’t showing and, of course, the US did not like this. The documentary reveals the battle and frustrations between the American military and the Arab news source (US fighter jets bombed the Al-Jazeera building in Iraq and claimed it was an accident).

Five nights of extreme liberal viewing. One might say I was brainwashed but I didn’t care. I was mad as hell and I was not going to take it anymore.

The next day, Friday morning, I was at the video store doing my duties as the opener. The store opened at 10am and ten after I received my first customer. He was an older man, late sixties maybe. In his hand were two DVD cases: volume one and volume two of Angels in America. I don’t know if everyone is aware of Angels in America but the miniseries premiered on HBO and was based on an award winning play. The plot is, basically, about the rise of the AIDS epidemic in New York City and how it affected specific people, so, yes, there are some homosexuals portrayed in the film.

The old man wanted to talk to me about his recent rentals.

“I want to talk to you about these discs,” he had the cases in full display. I figured they were defective or something in the non-viewable department “the young lady last night told me that these were really good. Well, when you read the back it tells you nothing about the plot.”

This was true, the back described how Academy Award winner Al Pacino, Academy Award winner Emma Thompson, and Academy Award winner Meryl Streep all star in this magnificent adaptation of the Tony award winning drama directed by Academy Award winning director Mike Nichols. So, no plot analysis. The old man continued.

“When my wife and I sat down to watch it, we couldn’t get past the first twenty minutes.”

I chimed in, “Did the DVD stop playing?”

“No! We couldn’t watch it because of all this homosexual activity,” oh boy.

“But the DVD played fine then?” I tried aiming the conversation in a different direction.

“I don’t know! I took out the DVD before we saw any more. You need to give some kind of warning.”

“Excuse me?” my frustrations started to rise.

“I mean, there should be some kind of sticker on the case saying Homosexual Relations!”

My favorite person, a bigot, I was talking to. As he made this statement, I decided to interject while pointing to the display rack for Schindler’s List (which just came out on DVD at the time).

“Sir, I can’t do that. If I put a sticker on this then I got to put a sticker on Schindler’s List that says Jewish Relations, and” he cut me off.

“Wait…”

“And then all those movies based on novels by Virginia Woolf should have a Feminist Relations sticker and-“

“Wait, that’s not what I’m getting at! What I’m getting at is that you need to warn people ahead of time if there’s going to be any of that… gay stuff,” he then whispered the last part.

“Funny, no one ever requests warnings of heterosexual scenes.”

“Well, that’s natural,” the old man had the nerve.

“So, what do you want?” I cut off with anger.

“A refund or something.”

“I’m sorry sir, I don’t give refunds on homophobia,” I said with the most strict face possible. The old man seemed to be not ready for this. He slammed the DVDs on the counter.

“Well, I’ll be taking my business elsewhere,” he left. I stood there watching the bastard walk to his car. I felt proud for what I did, but the more frustrating part was when I realized there was not a single soul near me. No one was there to hear or see what took place.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brilliant.

Putting labels for "Jewish Relations" on Schindler's List, awesome analogy. Dude, I wish I'd been there.

Anna said...

That is my favorite Peter story. Forget the Mormon one. And the deer one. "We don't give refunds for homophobia" should have its own patent. Or something.