I was giving it some thought after recent discussions with friends. There are certain diseases, syndromes, whatever, that I do not want simply based on the name and the judgment that would pass. Of course, the actual symptoms and what you experience would be horrible too.
The following are the “Top Three” diseases I would not want in order to avoid awkward conversations.
3. Shingles: any kind of pathogen named after a piece of a house brings discomfort to me. Saying you have shingles just puts a weird image in my head. I just can’t imagine what to think when somebody tells me that they have a bad case of “Dry Board” or “Insulation.”
2. Gout: I know this is a very uncomfortable thing to have but the name sounds really white trash. The reason may be due to two sources. I remember an episode of “King of the Hill” where the son, Bobby gets diagnosed with Gout and that’s his excuse for why he can’t do things properly. In that young southern accent voice, “I got Gout!” just made me laugh. A few years back when I was still at the video store, I had a manager named Jeff who was this very large man from Georgia. One day we were in the storage room and he asked me to help him with some boxes because, “I tell you what, this gout just dings my day. Mmm hmmm, dang gout.” Yes, dang gout.
1. IBS: when people use acronyms or initials, it sounds pretty serious and many people know what IBS is and that there is no set cure for it. When it is revealed that someone has IBS there’s a lot of awkwardness created.
“You know Lisa over in purchasing? She’s got IBS,” one employee states. All the other colleagues respond with, “Ooooooooh!”
And then someone will say, “You know, that makes sense, she does go to the bathroom a lot.”
Then a random employee lacks the knowledge of what IBS stands for. A fellow friend will whisper, “Irritable Bowel Syndrome.”
“Ooooooooh! That sucks!”
The worst part is that no one will say anything to poor Lisa, but many jokes will be passed around and much assumption and judgment will take place.
3 comments:
And, if you ever saw shingles, you would want it even less. I was surprised, though, They don't really look like shingles. It looks like a flesh eating virus.
I always thought kidney infection had a jaunty serious-enough-to-respect tone. But, really, any ailment that's generally a result of rough sex, and then thought you could beat it with cranberrry juice, but you didn't and it spread to your most necessary organs, only gets street cred if your listener has never had a kidney infection.
OK Pete I joined the trend...
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I think bronchitis is gross. It sounds like something is growing in your lungs. And you know what? It sounds like that in person, too.
My ex's family had two imaginary diseases: "lurgis" and "galloping gonkus."
When he was little and he wasn't feeling well, his mom would put her hand on his forehead and say "uh-oh...galloping gonkus again! You better stay home today."
Or sometimes, "You might as well just get dressed and go to school. All you've got is a mild case of lurgis."
I think lurgis was supposed to be a kind of temporary malaise resulting from existential angst. Galloping gonkus was far more serious, and was usually accompanied by a fever.
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